LAGOS, Nigeria(VOICE OF NAIJA)- Award-winning singer Temilade Openiyi, popularly known as Tems, shared a personal story about a past toxic relationship, explaining how it was rooted in obsession and control.
During a recent interview with media personality Angie Martinez, the “Essence” hitmaker spoke honestly about how the relationship conflicted with her beliefs about what love should be.
She explained that some partners may act out of control or obsession without fully realizing the harm they cause.
“I have experienced love where I thought it was love but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love,” she said.
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According to Tems, the experience was emotionally draining, especially because toxic behavior is always hidden to the person displaying it. The “Love Me Jeje” crooner pointed out that to her, real love is built on equality and mutual respect, not ownership like she endured.
“Love is not obsession. And it is not possession. I can’t own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person. We don’t own each other, we are each other. I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic,” Tems noted.
Furthermore, the singer stressed that her views on love remain rooted in freedom and partnership, rather than control.
She maintained that obsession is an unhealthy relationship pattern that has nothing to do with love.
“They say they love you but they don’t know that they don’t even love you. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own,” she added.
